Chronicle Of The Year Gone By: Nov 2020- Nov 2021

How much can change in a year?! It is more of a subject to fondly think about, rather than just a question, for the both of us in Fernandes house. From being a bride and a groom we have become a husband and wife. From two people ready to take their wedding vows to two people living those vows.

If we were to sit down and "count our blessings" in the past year, we would surely run out of pages in a notebook! When what happens in reality is a thousand times bigger than what one had dreamt or asked for, no form of expression does it justice. Looking out our balcony door in the living room, scanning for a ship in the distance; my thoughts go back to the day two young people promised each other, with God as their witness, that no matter what comes in future they would look at it together. No! it is not easy to keep promises... we with our human limitations are prone to fail, but the One who doesn't fail is Whom we had looked up to right at the beginning of "us". And so I can happily say, that no matter what came, comes, or will come our way we will be able to walk through.

In marriage, some say the X year is the hardest, but we know (from the experiences of countless older and happily in love couples) that every day is hard... but also every day is beautiful, every day teaches you something and if God hold the pen to our story, every day is special. When every new day brings in a new word in the world of love, relationship, and identity, we cling on even more strongly to the only One in whom we have our identities.

Both of us had never been the hyperactive types. But in our year together we have never heard the other one say "I'm bored". Maybe it's because we find romance even in the most mundane of the chores. During our long-distance "dating" days, Mr. Fernandes once asked me "I'm not really a very interesting person, won't you get bored of the same old"... to which I had replied "boring is a perspective, from where I see it, you are exactly what I have been praying for (and even more)". Silent walks around the neighbourhood can be as romantic as a first date. Solving the Sherlock Holmes card game cases can be as adventurous as a road trip. Cooking up a storm in the kitchen can be as exciting as a dinner date at a fancy restaurant. It's not about what we do, it's always about who we do things with makes it special.

Not only are we learning about each other, but we are leaning about ourselves in new ways...discovering talents and rectifying flaws that we were previously ignorant about. We have a favourite passage from one of our favourite authors:

When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strength and flaws, yet commits him or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.

Timothy Keller, The Meaning of marriage

Granted we're just a year old but we can already feel the weight of these words and how true they are. We have just started the walk of a lifetime, and undoubtedly aren't fully qualified as experts but one thing we know for sure is that what God has put together will never lack His grace.

The four stages of our life so far